Man A: So are you going to be a free man tomorrow night?
Man B: I don't know. So..am I going to be a free man tomorrow night?
Girl A: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!!!
___________________________________________________
TaliWackerr: dude get your pants
TaliWackerr: and pay me
TaliWackerr: you think i want you to look steezy with your new pants
TaliWackerr: i jus want my moneyz
___________________________________________________
Boss Man: You got any of those big rubbers?
Girl A: Like these?
Boss Man: Yeah! Now I got a hand full of rubbers.
Girl A: You want bigger ones?
Boss Man: I'm not that proud.
___________________________________________________
Man A: Your pants are at my house. When do you want to pick them up?
Man B: Dude what the hell?!?!?
Man C: The NEW pants that he bought me!
Man B: Well, it still sounded gay.
DEREK FISHER IS A D-BAG/FLOPPER
March 25, 2008
at
10:31 AM
I couldn't find a video of this D-bags flops but this video will have to do. I really do hate this stupid @ss f*cken donkey butthole eater.
|
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Mike Tyson's Pro Debut
March 23, 2008
at
2:11 PM
Look at that vicious body attack =/
__________________________________________________
Man A: Shut up, I want to hear Dennis sing (rock banding).
Man B: Dude, you are such a groupie.
|
|
HAPPY HAPPY FRIDAY
March 21, 2008
at
9:58 AM
It has been brought to my attention that I am losing readers(Nhon) due to my lack of updates. Sorry I forgot what was more important to me.
Blog > Work
_________________________________________________________
Girl A: He acted like every time we did it, God would strike him with a lightning bolt.
Man A: HAHAHAHHAHAHA
|
|
KOOLAID MARONEY
March 19, 2008
at
10:52 AM
Found an article on Laurence "Koolaid" Maroney of the New England Patriots. One of his favorite quotes on his face book is
"Your @ss backwards if you chase h*es, chase the cheese they come with the sh*t.”
You gotta love these young athletes.
________________________________________________________
Man A: I workin out my abs so when u wrap ur arms around me you'll pop a boner
"Your @ss backwards if you chase h*es, chase the cheese they come with the sh*t.”
You gotta love these young athletes.
________________________________________________________
Man A: I workin out my abs so when u wrap ur arms around me you'll pop a boner
|
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Happy Hump Day
March 12, 2008
at
11:18 AM
Man A: I'm trying to figure out if my devastating attraction to females is more physiological or psychological.
Man B: Haha, work is messing you up.
Man A: Haha I'm not gonna lie, I think hella dirty thoughts while the controller is explaining sh*t to me. I hella zone out and just think about boning hella b*tches. I hella mask my insanity there.
_____________________________________________________
AHHAHA I found this online
Black lady: Listen, you camel jockey, I don't care what you say, you was wrong to do that!
Middle Eastern man: Oh, shut up, you stupid n***a! I'm tired of hearing your sh*t! Go f*ck yourself!
Black woman passerby: Oh my god, who the hell are you to be talking to my beautiful black sister like that?! You ain't got no right to talk to anybody black like that!
Black lady: B*tch, who the sh*t are you? Don't be talkin' to my husband like that!
Man B: Haha, work is messing you up.
Man A: Haha I'm not gonna lie, I think hella dirty thoughts while the controller is explaining sh*t to me. I hella zone out and just think about boning hella b*tches. I hella mask my insanity there.
_____________________________________________________
AHHAHA I found this online
Black lady: Listen, you camel jockey, I don't care what you say, you was wrong to do that!
Middle Eastern man: Oh, shut up, you stupid n***a! I'm tired of hearing your sh*t! Go f*ck yourself!
Black woman passerby: Oh my god, who the hell are you to be talking to my beautiful black sister like that?! You ain't got no right to talk to anybody black like that!
Black lady: B*tch, who the sh*t are you? Don't be talkin' to my husband like that!
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Random Joke
March 7, 2008
at
4:05 PM
A man was happily driving along in his car late one Saturday night when a cop pulled him over. The policeman walked up to him and asked, “Have you been drinking, sir?”
Confused, the man replied, “Why? Was I weaving all over the road?”
“No,” said the policeman. “You were driving splendidly. It was the incredibly ugly girl in the passenger seat that gave you away.”
OUCH
Confused, the man replied, “Why? Was I weaving all over the road?”
“No,” said the policeman. “You were driving splendidly. It was the incredibly ugly girl in the passenger seat that gave you away.”
OUCH
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FLUFFYNESS
March 5, 2008
at
1:30 PM
Man A: Dude, can I borrow some of your fluff?
_____________________________________________________
Man A: Not your fault your a stud.
Man B: Haha that was incredibly homo.
Man A: Don't act like that didn't make you feel good.
Man B: ...Haha sth
_____________________________________________________
Man A: Not your fault your a stud.
Man B: Haha that was incredibly homo.
Man A: Don't act like that didn't make you feel good.
Man B: ...Haha sth
|
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LIVE BLOGGING FROM VEGAS
February 28, 2008
at
1:57 PM
Man A: Dude you hella look like Neyo but better looking.
Man B: Um thanks.
____________________________________________________________
Man A (talking to another guy): I'm not going to lie but your dance right now just made me hella horny, no homo.
|
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CHITOWN'S FINEST
February 27, 2008
at
2:35 PM
DMV Woman (Chicago): Is Christine Win Yin Tam your name?
Christine: Yes
DMV Woman: Are you a citizen?
Christine: Yes
DMV Woman: Was Christine your name when you became a citizen? What does your middle name mean?
Christine: Oh I'm not too sure actually.
DMV Woman: You should find out. It could mean little flower or something. You should ask your mother.
Christine: Yea I should...
OWNAGE
_________________________________________________________
Straight Dirrrty: why hello there brother
TaliWackerr: your brother status is on hold right now
Straight Dirrrty: wtf
Straight Dirrrty: i guess your life is on hold then
TaliWackerr: f*ck you
Straight Dirrrty: that's cool that you would say that to your older brother
TaliWackerr: like i said your brother status is now on hold
TaliWackerr: you'll get it back
TaliWackerr: in a day
TaliWackerr: maybe a month
TaliWackerr: maybe a year
TaliWackerr: maybe never
Straight Dirrrty: whatever
Straight Dirrrty: im sth
TaliWackerr: about what
Straight Dirrrty: about brotherhood
TaliWackerr: ive decided that i will let you back into my life
TaliWackerr: dont take me for granted anymore
Straight Dirrrty: haha ok
Christine: Yes
DMV Woman: Are you a citizen?
Christine: Yes
DMV Woman: Was Christine your name when you became a citizen? What does your middle name mean?
Christine: Oh I'm not too sure actually.
DMV Woman: You should find out. It could mean little flower or something. You should ask your mother.
Christine: Yea I should...
OWNAGE
_________________________________________________________
Straight Dirrrty: why hello there brother
TaliWackerr: your brother status is on hold right now
Straight Dirrrty: wtf
Straight Dirrrty: i guess your life is on hold then
TaliWackerr: f*ck you
Straight Dirrrty: that's cool that you would say that to your older brother
TaliWackerr: like i said your brother status is now on hold
TaliWackerr: you'll get it back
TaliWackerr: in a day
TaliWackerr: maybe a month
TaliWackerr: maybe a year
TaliWackerr: maybe never
Straight Dirrrty: whatever
Straight Dirrrty: im sth
TaliWackerr: about what
Straight Dirrrty: about brotherhood
TaliWackerr: ive decided that i will let you back into my life
TaliWackerr: dont take me for granted anymore
Straight Dirrrty: haha ok
|
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Declaration Of Romantic Intent
February 25, 2008
at
10:43 AM
Score some points with this
http://www.bureauofcommunication.com/compose/romanticintent
_______________________________________________________
Man A: We should just matchup with someone we are equal to.
Man B: Nah man, that never works. We've done it plenty of times.
Man C: Hey _____, you can match up with that dog (points at dog).
________________________________________________________
Man A: Man that guy is overrated, he only had sex two times in his life and he thinks he's all cool. OVERRATED!!! OVERRATED!!!
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REPLAY
at
10:02 AM
"In a devastated world by men, the only glimpse of hope is the memory of a forgotten past. But be careful not to let your dreams control your mind..."
|
|
...
February 19, 2008
at
3:27 PM
Man A: He doesn't have that much pubic hair.
Man B: WTF that's hella gay, how would you know?
Man A: I just know ok
__________________________________________________________
Man A: Damn I thought your calves were bigger but I guess not.
Man B: WTF that's hella gay, how would you know?
Man A: I just know ok
__________________________________________________________
Man A: Damn I thought your calves were bigger but I guess not.
|
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. VALENTINE (NGHIA)
February 14, 2008
at
10:57 AM
Happy Birthday Mr. Nghia Nguyen. I hope you get everything you want...Actually what more can you want? You got cool friends and 6-pack abs.
______________________________________________________
pwincesdot: i'm expecting my invisible big bouquet of flowers from my invisible boyfriend any minute now
Straight Dirrrty: HAHAHA
______________________________________________________
Straight Dirrrty: i just ate now im sleepy = (
da DongSong: come over
da DongSong: and you can nap
Straight Dirrrty: wow that almost sounded homo
da DongSong: and i can sing in your ears
Straight Dirrrty: me telling u im sleepy then u tell me to come over
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WOOHOOO to the GOVERNMENT STIMULUS PACKAGE
February 8, 2008
at
10:48 AM
The government plans to mail out tax rebate checks in May to "stimulate" the economy. For single tax payers we are expected to get $600 dollars. Hmm if they could do that to help the economy, why not do it more? J/K...Oh well, I'm not complaining...stimulate away!
___________________________________________________________
Man A: are u gonna buy anything for vday especially since u won
Man B: no
Man A: dinner then?
Man B: we decided that there will be no gifts/flowers/lube etc, just dinner
|
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I <3 COUGARS
February 6, 2008
at
3:49 PM
Itbbetter2maro: Happy playas eve playa
Straight Dirrrty: AHHAHAHAH
Straight Dirrrty: is this the REAL playaz holiday?
Itbbetter2maro: Naww its playas eve
Itbbetter2maro: Tomorrows the real deal
Itbbetter2maro: So have ur red envolopes ready
Itbbetter2maro: Cause the playa is coming to collect some money
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NEVER STEAL FOOD FROM ANOTHER PERSON
February 5, 2008
at
11:49 AM
Note to all, don't touch my carne asada burrito.
|
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OWNAGE
February 4, 2008
at
8:48 PM
_________________________________________________________
Man A: Oh did you bring chicken tenders?
Girl A: No I got chicken strips.
Man A: Oh....okay
_________________________________________________________
Man A: Dude you're already buzzed?
Man B: Don't make fun of me or I'll never drink again.
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Congrats to the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS
at
10:00 AM
Wow, the Giants actually did it. I thought the Patriots would just walk over the Giants. As a result my wallet is a little lighter..ok ok a lot lighter. It was a great game and the Giants simply played better. Eli Manning played a good game... maybe great but the real deciding factor was the front 7 of the Giants. GIVE THE DEFENSIVE LINEMAN some respect! One of those guys should have got the MVP for the game. Now you get to hear all the bandwagoners tell you they KNEW the GIANTS would win. PUT YOUR MONEY WITH YOUR MOUTH IS. SHOW ME YOUR DAMN WINNING TICKET. Anyway time to "make" some money back on the Pro Bowl eh eh?
__________________________________________________________
Man A: do u have j holidays new cd
Man B: yeah, you want to borrow it? cause i'm not going to burn another dood an r and b album
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FRIDAY IS HERE..2 days away from the BIG GAME
February 1, 2008
at
9:32 AM
There are some interesting prop bets out there for the Super Bowl. We all know about the heads/tails bets or who's going to score first but check out these bets I found:
Who will the MVP of the Game thank first?
Teammates 2/5
God 3/1
Family 5/2
Coach 6/1
Doesn't thank anyone 7/1
____________________________________________________________
How will the Winning Conference of the Super Bowl impact Wall Street?
AFC Wins/Market Down 1/2
AFC Wins/Market Up 3/2
NFC Wins/Market Down 5/1
NFC WIns/Market UP 6/1
____________________________________________________________
How Many Times will Joe Buck mention Peyton Manning's name during the Broadcast?
Over 5½
Under 5½
Who will the MVP of the Game thank first?
Teammates 2/5
God 3/1
Family 5/2
Coach 6/1
Doesn't thank anyone 7/1
____________________________________________________________
How will the Winning Conference of the Super Bowl impact Wall Street?
AFC Wins/Market Down 1/2
AFC Wins/Market Up 3/2
NFC Wins/Market Down 5/1
NFC WIns/Market UP 6/1
____________________________________________________________
How Many Times will Joe Buck mention Peyton Manning's name during the Broadcast?
Over 5½
Under 5½
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JOHN MAYER IS pretty funny
at
1:15 AM
Check out the John Mayer "TV SHOW" on youtube if you have the chance
|
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HAPPY HUMP DAY....TWO MORE DAYS TO GO
January 30, 2008
at
1:40 PM
Man A: can u watch a foreign film in black n white though for 3 hours
Man B: b*tch please, I've watched Pron for hours in black and white before
Man A: hahah k well pron is a bit different from a foreign film about farmers and samurai. Not sure if ull get hard watching farmers
Man B: whatever ill check it out
Man B: b*tch please, I've watched Pron for hours in black and white before
Man A: hahah k well pron is a bit different from a foreign film about farmers and samurai. Not sure if ull get hard watching farmers
Man B: whatever ill check it out
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Chris Webber Part 2
January 29, 2008
at
7:17 PM
I know I know I already made a post about C-Webb's return to the Warriors. I can't help but be excited. He is nowhere near the player he once was but watching that video just shows how good he was. I'll take about 25% of what he was in that Warriors video. He doesn't look too bad in the Pistons video highlights eh? Lots of people seem to be worried that Webber will start b**ching about playing time but I'm sure Nelson has worked it out with him. If anything, having Webber prevents the Lakers from getting him. Lets go WEBBER!!!!!!!!!!
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EVERYDAY IS A PLAYAZ HOLIDAY...lovely day lovely day
at
4:26 PM
Go to Voodoo on Friday cause the red carpet will definitely be out for Mr. Chardx himself.
TaliWackerr: when i chardx roll through
TaliWackerr: you beettter have the red carpet out
TaliWackerr: and kiss my pimp ring
|
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CHAD JOHNSON WANTS TO COME TO MIAMI?
January 28, 2008
at
6:24 PM
Haha watch Ray Lewis go through a lie detector test. One of the youtube comments says "Did you stab an innocent man and kill him following Super Bowl XXXIV?" =/
|
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WELCOME BACK C-WEBB
at
9:18 AM
I don't know how much juice he has left but signing him certainly won't make us worse. Perhaps he can teach Biedrins a couple of moves eh eh? Gary Payton, are you next?!?!?
______________________________________________________
Man A: Hey what you doing next thursday?
Girl A: i dunno. why?
Man A: i have tickets to the warriors game. you wanna go?
Girl A: well i'm not much of a baseball fan.
Man A: ok that says it all..
|
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JUNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
January 27, 2008
at
8:42 PM
JUNO is instantly one of my favs, fo-shizz.
___________________________________________________________
TaliWackerr: i was a bitch like him once
TaliWackerr: look at me now
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AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH
January 24, 2008
at
11:11 PM
SAVE ME = (
Do yourself a favor and watch it. Here's a link of things that you can do to help.
http://www.climatecrisis.net/takeaction/whatyoucando/index.html
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One more day until FRIDAY...
at
2:03 PM
Man A: man ill never forget him giving 1 can of coke for 3 or 4 people
Man B: did you ever ask him for like skittles
Man A: or hearing about him putting chips in his pocket so noone eats it
Man B: haha
Man A: that's hella extreme, its some kind of sickness
Man B: like you can ask can I have some skittles or m&m's and he'll give you 1
Man A: haha
Man B: literally 1 and he'll make a big show of it, like he'll dig one out, and then drop it in your hand from a few inches above as if he was some sort of god blessing his children below
________________________________________________________
Man A: I also thought about what it would like to cut a hole in a beached whale and f**k it
Man B: AHHAH dood wtf ur sick man
Man A: hahhahahha I was referencing fat girls, even fattys need love...j/k
Man B: did you ever ask him for like skittles
Man A: or hearing about him putting chips in his pocket so noone eats it
Man B: haha
Man A: that's hella extreme, its some kind of sickness
Man B: like you can ask can I have some skittles or m&m's and he'll give you 1
Man A: haha
Man B: literally 1 and he'll make a big show of it, like he'll dig one out, and then drop it in your hand from a few inches above as if he was some sort of god blessing his children below
________________________________________________________
Man A: I also thought about what it would like to cut a hole in a beached whale and f**k it
Man B: AHHAH dood wtf ur sick man
Man A: hahhahahha I was referencing fat girls, even fattys need love...j/k
|
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True Playa Foreal
January 22, 2008
at
8:55 AM
Itbbetter2maro: How's work going
Itbbetter2maro: I'm hella bored I've been sitting at my desk for almost 3 hours listenning to justin timberlake
Straight Dirrrty: damn playa thats too much info.
Itbbetter2maro: I'm hella bored I've been sitting at my desk for almost 3 hours listenning to justin timberlake
Straight Dirrrty: damn playa thats too much info.
|
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MAYNE EVENT: KIM ZONG
January 21, 2008
at
8:16 PM
HAHHAHA I can't get enough of these
____________________________________________________________
Man A: Does ur work care if u watch videos on ur comp?
Man B: yeah
Man A: can u watch the warriors game?
Man B: fool i just told u i cant watch videos, what makes u think i can watch games
|
|
MAYNE EVENT - MOSSOME
at
9:42 AM
____________________________________________________________
Man A: n***a is crazy, opps sorry for the N word
Man B: haha, its cool...all the mi dengs aren't at work today
Man A: oh yeah, its MLK day today
Man B: yeah
Man A: no wonder popeyes and sh*t was packed
|
|
Chili Cheese Fritos With Onions...
at
2:25 PM
Looks like an interesting combo.
________________________________________________________________
NY Giants +7.5 at Green Bay
|
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MAYNE EVENT - BEAST MODE
January 16, 2008
at
9:56 PM
He's quite an interesting guy...
_______________________________________________________
Daddy Fast Hands: know any good orgies?
Straight Dirrrty: WTF
Straight Dirrrty: wrong IM?
Daddy Fast Hands: i thought you were straigt dirty so i thought you might know of some orgies
Straight Dirrrty: hahah negative
|
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Queen Creep
January 15, 2008
at
11:48 PM
Man A: Hahah he's like playing like he's 28! When he's almost 40. Great ending if he wins
Girl A: Playing like he's 16 the way I like em.
|
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IGNITE LIKE IRON MIKE
at
12:21 AM
__________________________________________________________
Man A: I hate it when he smiles, I just want to f*cken knock his teeth in.
|
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NFL DIVISIONAL PLAYOFFS PICKS
January 12, 2008
at
1:02 PM
Seattle at Green Bay -7.5
Seattle at Green Bay Under 44
Jacksonville at New England -13.5
Jacksonville at New England Over 51
Seattle at Green Bay Under 44
Jacksonville at New England -13.5
Jacksonville at New England Over 51
|
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Straight Dirrrrrrrrrrty
January 11, 2008
at
9:40 AM
Girl A: Like...the crowd is like...so diff compared to the other places
like....it reminds me of hollywood. like how everyone's all flashy and they're all persian guys with waxed eyebrows and goatees wearing true religion jeans and tight man blouses. u know what im talkin bout?
Man A: haha yes that place is known for that.
Girl A: haha yea last night it was like persians and dumas
like....it reminds me of hollywood. like how everyone's all flashy and they're all persian guys with waxed eyebrows and goatees wearing true religion jeans and tight man blouses. u know what im talkin bout?
Man A: haha yes that place is known for that.
Girl A: haha yea last night it was like persians and dumas
|
|
HELLO LADIES!!!!!!!!!!!!
January 10, 2008
at
11:18 PM
______________________________________________________________
Man A: You remember ********? She works at Victoria's Secret.
Man B: No way, thought she was smart.
Man A: No, not really.
|
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BASICK CLOTHING
January 9, 2008
at
11:36 AM
Check out http://www.basickclothing.com/ if you want some Tee's that only cool people have. Do YOU want to be cool?!?!? (If you don't want to order it online just ask me.)
_________________________________________________________
b0mbasaur: NEW ORLEANS - Hurricane Katrina's victims have put a price tag on their suffering and it is staggering including one plaintiff seeking the unlikely sum of $3 quadrillion.
b0mbasaur: must be mi deng
|
|
2008 New Year Resolutions
at
9:59 AM
Decided to post my NYR list..so that I have it recorded somewhere.
1. Finish reading the Intelligent Investor and MAYBE another book
2. Be more open/vocal/firm
3. Be nicer to family
4. Have more patience
5. Save more money
6. Try more restaurants
7. Retire the tank
8. Take a vacation (outside of California/Nevada)
9. Find a productive hobby (photography?)
10. Learn how to cook more than eggs
11. Ignore haters that give them salty looks
12. Be more decisive
13. Be better with directions
14. Use what I learned in school
15. Remain undefeated
1. Finish reading the Intelligent Investor and MAYBE another book
2. Be more open/vocal/firm
3. Be nicer to family
4. Have more patience
5. Save more money
6. Try more restaurants
7. Retire the tank
8. Take a vacation (outside of California/Nevada)
9. Find a productive hobby (photography?)
10. Learn how to cook more than eggs
11. Ignore haters that give them salty looks
12. Be more decisive
13. Be better with directions
14. Use what I learned in school
15. Remain undefeated
|
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Crazy Guys
January 8, 2008
at
9:49 PM
Man A: I hate girls =(
Man B: I know they are kinda gay at times...a lot of the time. Boys only stay with them for hanky panky. They always wanna drop their f**kin drama on your shoulders and then when you give advice on what to do...they get more mad so dumb.
Man A: Hhahahahaha
_______________________________________________________
Man A: Alright I'm gonna take ****** instead cause he's much more down.
Man B: Your a heartless f*ck. Sorry to hear you got 2nd grade back up.
Man B: I know they are kinda gay at times...a lot of the time. Boys only stay with them for hanky panky. They always wanna drop their f**kin drama on your shoulders and then when you give advice on what to do...they get more mad so dumb.
Man A: Hhahahahaha
_______________________________________________________
Man A: Alright I'm gonna take ****** instead cause he's much more down.
Man B: Your a heartless f*ck. Sorry to hear you got 2nd grade back up.
|
|
AHHAHAH more STH's
January 6, 2008
at
9:04 PM
Man A: Don't take the opp for granted like I did. I'm now a victim of my own loneliness and erections.
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: Aite I'm gonna think about life and perhaps shed a tear.
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: Haha I can't believe I hit the parlay.
Man B: You got lucky f***got, Vince Young can suck it. Shut up f***got. I'm gonna shower.
Man B: haha wtf you b*tch you're so rude.
Man A: The more you call me rude the more rude I'm gonna be so stfu
Man B: wtf you rude ass punk.
Man A: Whatever, your pimp will pay you Tuesday
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: Aite I'm gonna think about life and perhaps shed a tear.
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: Haha I can't believe I hit the parlay.
Man B: You got lucky f***got, Vince Young can suck it. Shut up f***got. I'm gonna shower.
Man B: haha wtf you b*tch you're so rude.
Man A: The more you call me rude the more rude I'm gonna be so stfu
Man B: wtf you rude ass punk.
Man A: Whatever, your pimp will pay you Tuesday
|
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=************(
at
1:55 PM
Whopper Freak Out (Ghetto version)
__________________________________________________________
Straight Dirrrty: u missed out on the party of the year
Itbbetter2maro: playa this friendship has gone sour
Itbbetter2maro: Haha
Itbbetter2maro: Dennis wants u to come over right now
Straight Dirrrty: haha
Straight Dirrrty: cant maybe later
Itbbetter2maro: I'm only talking to u cause dennis told me to not cause were friends or anything
|
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Wildcard Saturday Plays
January 5, 2008
at
1:04 PM
Washington +3 at Seattle
Washington at Seattle Under 39
Jacksonville Jaguars at Pittsburgh +2.5
Washington at Seattle Under 39
Jacksonville Jaguars at Pittsburgh +2.5
|
|
at
11:17 AM
____________________________________________________________
Girl A: My hair feels all frizzy cause of the rain.
Older Woman: My hair feels like a limp d*ck.
Girl A: HAhahahahahha poor *****
Older Woman: Uh I mean limp stick.
____________________________________________________________
Man A: What does your tat mean?
Man B: Um, I'll kill you all.
Man C: Oh sh*t.
|
|
The Office (Frank)
January 2, 2008
at
9:42 PM
People always ask me what do you do at work? Well, there you go.
____________________________________________________________
Straight Dirrrty: http://www.theorphanagemovie.com/
AznRicePicker: that movie doesn't look funny at all!
AznRicePicker: nothing like Annie
Straight Dirrrty: haha
Straight Dirrrty: annie?
AznRicePicker: haha the broadway musical
AznRicePicker: hard knock life?
AznRicePicker: haha dude, you're so unclassy
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|
Ohhhhhhh GoOooOOooOd One
December 31, 2007
at
4:08 PM
Man A: So should we reserve your seat next to hers?
Girl A: Reserve her face for my fist.
__________________________________________________________
Straight Dirrrty: how was vegas
Useful Widget: we met a powerful dealer
Useful Widget: me and man turned super saiyan
Straight Dirrrty: hahah then?
Useful Widget: but she had power lvl 1000000000000000
Straight Dirrrty: hahaha
Straight Dirrrty: =(
Useful Widget: and she hit us for 500 dollars
Straight Dirrrty: ahah what a dirty whore
Useful Widget: we got away though with our lives
__________________________________________________________
Straight Dirrrty: i think we're gonna play football tomorrow
Straight Dirrrty: did u want to play
Useful Widget: hmmmm yeah
Useful Widget: ill play
Straight Dirrrty: do u have insurance
Straight Dirrrty: damn u one down mother fucker
Straight Dirrrty: haha no questions asked
Useful Widget: i don't need insurance
Useful Widget: people who play against me need insurance
Useful Widget: and i will sell it to them
Straight Dirrrty: HAHAHA good one.
Girl A: Reserve her face for my fist.
__________________________________________________________
Straight Dirrrty: how was vegas
Useful Widget: we met a powerful dealer
Useful Widget: me and man turned super saiyan
Straight Dirrrty: hahah then?
Useful Widget: but she had power lvl 1000000000000000
Straight Dirrrty: hahaha
Straight Dirrrty: =(
Useful Widget: and she hit us for 500 dollars
Straight Dirrrty: ahah what a dirty whore
Useful Widget: we got away though with our lives
__________________________________________________________
Straight Dirrrty: i think we're gonna play football tomorrow
Straight Dirrrty: did u want to play
Useful Widget: hmmmm yeah
Useful Widget: ill play
Straight Dirrrty: do u have insurance
Straight Dirrrty: damn u one down mother fucker
Straight Dirrrty: haha no questions asked
Useful Widget: i don't need insurance
Useful Widget: people who play against me need insurance
Useful Widget: and i will sell it to them
Straight Dirrrty: HAHAHA good one.
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Happy Birthday Scoss
December 27, 2007
at
2:05 PM
_________________________________________________________________
s0LiGeAr27: man is sleeping on the bed right now
s0LiGeAr27: with covers over his face
s0LiGeAr27: he grabbed my blanket cuz he said mine was warmer
Straight Dirrrty: hahahha
Straight Dirrrty: did he really
s0LiGeAr27: i decided then id rather sleep on the floors with feces and fleas
________________________________________________________
Man A: Man, I'd love to push her off a mountain.
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Crazy Stuff
December 25, 2007
at
10:52 PM
Man A: Who should I try on NYE? I don't wanna be jerkin off when the ball drops like last year.
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AHHAAHAHHAHHA
at
2:12 PM
Man A: N***a are you f*cking crying?
Man B: Nah, I just get like this when I drink.
Man C: Let me buy you Johnson Johnson tear free shampoo so you won't shed any tears.
_________________________________________________________
Man A: The eggs are uneven.
Man B: So is your fade.
Man A: What the hell...
Man B: Nah, I just get like this when I drink.
Man C: Let me buy you Johnson Johnson tear free shampoo so you won't shed any tears.
_________________________________________________________
Man A: The eggs are uneven.
Man B: So is your fade.
Man A: What the hell...
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Philip Rivers is a Donkey
at
11:33 AM
I hope Cutler throws a ball at his helmet less head one day.
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Happy Holidays!!!
December 24, 2007
at
10:57 PM
If you never tried these (thanks Vickster), you are truly missing out on the good life. Merry Christmas!!!
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Monday Night Football Picks
at
5:00 PM
1st Half Denver at San Diego -6.5
1st Half Over 24
__________________________________________________________
Man A: "He" talks about her mustache in front of anyone, hella sick.
Man B: Well...she shows it off in front of everyone, she hella deserves it.
1st Half Over 24
__________________________________________________________
Man A: "He" talks about her mustache in front of anyone, hella sick.
Man B: Well...she shows it off in front of everyone, she hella deserves it.
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Sunday Night Football Picks
December 23, 2007
at
5:07 PM
Everything is coming together for the Washington Redskins. The Vikings are on an impressive run but who have they actually beaten? Washington is a very solid team and will win tonight (sorry Dong).
1st half Washington +3 at Minnesota
Washington +6 at Minnesota
1st half Washington +3 at Minnesota
Washington +6 at Minnesota
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Saturday NCAAF/NFL Picks
December 22, 2007
at
12:35 PM
Dallas Cowboys -10.5 at Carolina Panthers
Nevada +3 at New Mexico
Nevada at New Mexico Over 57
________________________________________________________
Man A: Dude the bouncer told me to take off my hoody and pull my pants up.
Man B: Tell that mother f*cker we will fucking buy this entire place and turn it into a f*cking children's playground.
-Overheard at The LOFT
________________________________________________________
Man A: F*cking pathetic, for that I hope you have sex with her and send it to him through a web-cam live...Not any sex, hot jungle sex, the one that hurts people the most =/
Nevada +3 at New Mexico
Nevada at New Mexico Over 57
________________________________________________________
Man A: Dude the bouncer told me to take off my hoody and pull my pants up.
Man B: Tell that mother f*cker we will fucking buy this entire place and turn it into a f*cking children's playground.
-Overheard at The LOFT
________________________________________________________
Man A: F*cking pathetic, for that I hope you have sex with her and send it to him through a web-cam live...Not any sex, hot jungle sex, the one that hurts people the most =/
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Fountain Of Youth
December 21, 2007
at
6:16 PM
Man A: I want to see LONG squirt.
Man B: You know how bad that sounds?
Man A: F*CK!
_________________________________________________________
Girl A: Do you mow it? or let it go wild?
Man A: I like my hair to be the same from head to toe.
Girl A: Lol.
Man A: Short and spikey
_________________________________________________________
Man A: I think if you put me in a room with him for 1 week, I might kill myself. Or kill him, someone is going to die for sure.
_________________________________________________________
Man A: So can I get your number?
Girl A: Um...I forgot my number.
Man B: What the hell, you just gave your number to him (not Man A) HAHAHAHA.
Man B: You know how bad that sounds?
Man A: F*CK!
_________________________________________________________
Girl A: Do you mow it? or let it go wild?
Man A: I like my hair to be the same from head to toe.
Girl A: Lol.
Man A: Short and spikey
_________________________________________________________
Man A: I think if you put me in a room with him for 1 week, I might kill myself. Or kill him, someone is going to die for sure.
_________________________________________________________
Man A: So can I get your number?
Girl A: Um...I forgot my number.
Man B: What the hell, you just gave your number to him (not Man A) HAHAHAHA.
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Super Mario Kart Rainbow Road
at
12:46 AM
I spent the earlier years of my life perfecting this stage with donkey kong/bowser. This game is also what started my gambling habit =(
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: Freaking kids spoiled I Am Legend for me so I told them there was no Santa Claus.
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Most Mo Conversation Of 2007
December 19, 2007
at
9:01 PM
How many Nathans do you know?
________________________________________________________
Man A: What are you eating?
Man B: Stuffed mushroom.
Man A: I'll stuff your mushroom.
Man B: Dude, WTF...
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Hmmmmmmmmm
at
8:29 PM
Keri Russell (Scoss once described her as the nerdy chick in your high school. And then one day she decided to straighten her hair and realized that she was a kyoooooooootie pie)
__________________________________________________________
Straight Dirrrty: is this whole crew gonna get em (flatheads)?
TaliWackerr: MUHAHAH
TaliWackerr: yeah right
TaliWackerr: come on
TaliWackerr: you got the legit first hand infos
__________________________________________________________
Man A: Sorry to hear, now I know why there are a lot of lesbians.
Girl A: :-) haha
Man A: Was that a smile as in you are one?
Girl A: Hahah no comment
Man A: What the...
__________________________________________________________
Man A: So, maybe when his birthday comes around. Should I be like nah I'll probably not go, I'd rather stay home and j**k off.
__________________________________________________________
Girl A: Remember when I told you about how there are Filipino people that work at Costco. The first time I went and they were giving out samples but would give the other Filipino people bigger portions and talk to them forever.
Man A: HAHAHHAHA
Girl A: It happened again today. I was there and just kinda not paying attention and then I'm like why am I standing here so long! I look and this Costco lady gives the woman she was chatting with the hugest portion of the cake and then STOPS serving to continue chatting.
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Random Kyoooooooootie Pie of the Day
December 18, 2007
at
12:27 AM
Dania Ramirez (from Heroes)
___________________________________________________________
b0mbasaur : sth turbo was throwing up
b0mbasaur : and he ate it again
b0mbasaur : hella weird guy
___________________________________________________________
Man Phan: Damn baller...oh wait...nevermind that's me.
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Monday Night Football Picks
December 17, 2007
at
4:52 PM
Urlacher and crew will not be embarrassed by Adrian Peterson again. In fact, I think Chicago's Adrian Peterson will have a better game. This is going to be a ugly defensive game with hard hits. The Vikings will not be able to pass the ball on the Bears. Orton is not a good QB but he can still manage the game and keep it close. I would not be surprised if the Bears won this game straight up.
Chicago +10.5 at Minnesota
Under 43.5
Chicago +10.5 at Minnesota
Under 43.5
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Embafflement?!??!
at
9:15 AM
Man A: I was in embafflement. I f**king know embafflement is not a word, but that sh*t was so crazy that I was in embafflement.
____________________________________________________
Man A: Why you leaving so early? (wakes up wiping his eyes and looking up at another man as he just finished zipping up his pants)
____________________________________________________
Man A: Why you leaving so early? (wakes up wiping his eyes and looking up at another man as he just finished zipping up his pants)
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Random Kyooooooooooootie Pie of the Day
December 16, 2007
at
11:17 PM
Alicia Keys
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: I'm going to blog you by the way unless you say no.
Girl A: Fine hahahah I like to be blogged lol hella creepy ahahah.
Man A: Hahhaha I wonder if that means something "I like to be blogged". Let me check if blogged is a gross word on Urbandictionary.
Girl A: Sounds pretty ugly.
Man A: "A hot, quick f**k, especially at a club or party" Sorry to hear Hhahaha
Girl A: Really???? Lol
Man A: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=blogged Ahhh I love that place
Girl A: Omg thats awesome hahahaha.
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: Are you ready for the ride of your life?!?!?
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More STH's
December 15, 2007
at
12:09 PM
Man A: No work today?
Girl A: I finished prob get slammed at 430 or something.
Man A: Damn sorry to hear about slamage.
Girl A: Yeah I don’t like that kind of slammage, dunno where I was going w/ that.
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: Here hold the popcorn.
Man Phan B: No, I don't want to make my khaki's smell.
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: Help me eat some popcorn.
Man Phan B: No, I don't want to gain weight.
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: He's crazy, I'm gonna get my 4 yr. degree very soon, I can't be hanging out w/ him anymore. That's unprofessional.
Girl A: I finished prob get slammed at 430 or something.
Man A: Damn sorry to hear about slamage.
Girl A: Yeah I don’t like that kind of slammage, dunno where I was going w/ that.
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: Here hold the popcorn.
Man Phan B: No, I don't want to make my khaki's smell.
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: Help me eat some popcorn.
Man Phan B: No, I don't want to gain weight.
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: He's crazy, I'm gonna get my 4 yr. degree very soon, I can't be hanging out w/ him anymore. That's unprofessional.
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theGOODlife
December 14, 2007
at
9:40 AM
Man A: Celebrating today?
Man B: No more finals? or what?
Man A: No, celebrating life...my life
__________________________________________________________
Straight Dirrrty: so whose ur +1 guest for potluck
TaliWackerr: that was actually for scott
TaliWackerr: hahah
Straight Dirrrty: AHHAHAA
Straight Dirrrty: sweet
Straight Dirrrty: i took bets on if it was scott or OTHER
Straight Dirrrty: scott = -250 pay back
Straight Dirrrty: other = +150
TaliWackerr: HAHAHHA
TaliWackerr: you know i was gonna just take laverne
TaliWackerr: but she doesnt get off work till 11
TaliWackerr: so its back to scott
Man B: No more finals? or what?
Man A: No, celebrating life...my life
__________________________________________________________
Straight Dirrrty: so whose ur +1 guest for potluck
TaliWackerr: that was actually for scott
TaliWackerr: hahah
Straight Dirrrty: AHHAHAA
Straight Dirrrty: sweet
Straight Dirrrty: i took bets on if it was scott or OTHER
Straight Dirrrty: scott = -250 pay back
Straight Dirrrty: other = +150
TaliWackerr: HAHAHHA
TaliWackerr: you know i was gonna just take laverne
TaliWackerr: but she doesnt get off work till 11
TaliWackerr: so its back to scott
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Lover Boy
December 13, 2007
at
9:34 PM
Girl A: We don't know the recipe so what are we going to make?
Man A: Do you want me to come over? Cause I want to, hehe.
Girl A: No.
Man A: But I know what, we can make in the mean time....love...
Girl A: No.
Man A: Okay, I'm cumming over.
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Hhahahahhaha
at
10:37 AM
Man A: Is it bad that i'm dreaming about getting med school invitations?
My dream was about me checking my email and seeing it.
Man B: It's a sign of things to come.
Man A: That's what I thought, then I checked my e-mail immediately and I got 3 spam e-mails about penis enlargement.
Man B: HAHA
My dream was about me checking my email and seeing it.
Man B: It's a sign of things to come.
Man A: That's what I thought, then I checked my e-mail immediately and I got 3 spam e-mails about penis enlargement.
Man B: HAHA
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Nice Guys Finish Last
at
12:25 AM
Man A: You keep making these homo jokes, man one day I might pop out of the closet forreals. And then the jokes on YOU.
___________________________________________________________
Man A: Hella BS, don't you just want to hit it and call it a day.
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WTF???
December 12, 2007
at
10:17 PM
2007=Superman
2008=Spider-man
This may offend some people (so stop reading if you are easily offended) and I will try to be as vague as possible. I stumbled across the real meaning behind "Supaman that hoe"...It's when you make your own "paste" and stick a bed sheet on her back to make it look like a cape.
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Rude Dude
at
8:59 AM
Man A: Sorry to hear I can't take random days off to go to Vegas with dudes.
Man B: Sorry to hear, you wanted to go with us dudes, you f***ot. Plus I'm there for my money, I'm goning tell them the king is back give me my motherfucking moneyz.
_____________________________________________________
Man A: I'm at 205 I really wanna go under 200.
Man B: Haha.
Man A: How is my weight struggle funny?
Man B: Sorry to hear, you wanted to go with us dudes, you f***ot. Plus I'm there for my money, I'm goning tell them the king is back give me my motherfucking moneyz.
_____________________________________________________
Man A: I'm at 205 I really wanna go under 200.
Man B: Haha.
Man A: How is my weight struggle funny?
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Monday Night Football Plays
December 10, 2007
at
2:29 PM
New Orlean Saints at +3.5 Atlanta Falcons
Over 43
__________________________________________________________
AznRicePicker: okay, gonna hit my punching bag
AznRicePicker: someone has to beat mayweather
__________________________________________________________
Girl A: Do you think a 22 year old would use Batman pillow cases?
Man A: ...I have a spiderman pillow case and I'm 23.
Girl A: I don't know what to say.
__________________________________________________________
Man A: I was like n***a does this look like home shopping network.
Over 43
__________________________________________________________
AznRicePicker: okay, gonna hit my punching bag
AznRicePicker: someone has to beat mayweather
__________________________________________________________
Girl A: Do you think a 22 year old would use Batman pillow cases?
Man A: ...I have a spiderman pillow case and I'm 23.
Girl A: I don't know what to say.
__________________________________________________________
Man A: I was like n***a does this look like home shopping network.
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Chardx x Straight Dirrrty Collabo
December 9, 2007
at
11:37 AM
TaliWackerr: we should do a t-shirt collabo
Straight Dirrrty: man made?
Straight Dirrrty: me and u
TaliWackerr: chardx x straight dirrrty
Straight Dirrrty: cut out ceviche?
TaliWackerr: nah thats a weak blog
TaliWackerr: i cant have that on my shirt
____________________________________________________________
Man A: If I was a girl, I would totally date you.
Man B: How can you not? Look at this.
____________________________________________________________
Man A: Why you jockin?
Man B: I'm just trying to look at your denim.
Straight Dirrrty: man made?
Straight Dirrrty: me and u
TaliWackerr: chardx x straight dirrrty
Straight Dirrrty: cut out ceviche?
TaliWackerr: nah thats a weak blog
TaliWackerr: i cant have that on my shirt
____________________________________________________________
Man A: If I was a girl, I would totally date you.
Man B: How can you not? Look at this.
____________________________________________________________
Man A: Why you jockin?
Man B: I'm just trying to look at your denim.
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Floyd Mayweather vs. Ricky Hatton Predictions
December 8, 2007
at
11:58 AM
We all know Floyd Mayweather has the superior speed and talent in this fight but does he have the heart? Every fighter that Mayweather has faced tried to pressure him but eventually gave up or just got tired. Oscar and Judah both had success the first 6 rounds against Mayweather but eventually just tired. Out of all Mayweather's opponents, Hatton is most similiar to Jose Luis Castillo. Castillo nearly defeated Mayweather by being aggressive. Many ringside writers gave the bout to Castillo but Mayweather had escaped with the W that night. If Hatton can fight for 3 minutes of every round, I think the fight will come down to the 12th round. Hatton will definitely get tagged but I think he will throw so many punches that he will win a lot of the close rounds. Hatton is not slow like Baldomir and he is probably even faster than Castillo. Hatton will punch at all angles and will put the pressure on Floyd. Hatton has an underrated defense and footwork. I'm not sure if the HBO 24/7 series has influenced me but I'm going to have to say that Hatton gives Mayweather his first loss. I expect to see a rematch between these two.
Hatton by Decision
_____________________________________________________________
Bernard Hopkins: Will you take the fight?
Joe Calzaghe: Will YOU take the fight?
BH: I already said I'll take the fight.
JC: OK then, let's fight. When you want to do it?
BH: I'm gonna mess up your face.
JC: Nobody's messed up my face. Look at my face. Twenty-five years of fighting and not a mark.
BH: That's because you're fighting in Europe. You're not fighting a legend.
JC: I am a legend.
BH: In Europe.
JC: There's no way you can beat me.
BH: I will never let a white person beat me.
JC: If you fight me, you'll lose.
BH: I will never lose to a white person.
JC: I can't wait man, I can't wait to kick your ass.
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Barry Bonds ignited!
December 7, 2007
at
7:56 PM
Man A: Did you know Barry Bonds might go to the Oakland A's?
Girl A: Wait, didn't he get ignited?
Man A: Ignited? Don't you mean indicted.
Girl A: Wait, didn't he get ignited?
Man A: Ignited? Don't you mean indicted.
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Random Kyooootie Pie of the Day
December 6, 2007
at
11:42 PM
Petra Nemcova = My number one of all kyoooooooooootie pies
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Boss of the Day
at
9:08 PM
That's how to tip.
________________________________________________________
Man A: Should take like 2 minutes, just gotta screw off the cover or pop it off and insert new ones.
Man B: Okay thanks Mr. 2 minutes, since it's your expertise.
Man A: Wtf!
Man B: 2 minutes for ramming I mean.
________________________________________________________
Man A: All this makes me feel like not wanting to do anything with the boys anymore. gay huh?
Man B: Um that sounds kind of homo.
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Deliciousness
December 5, 2007
at
5:40 PM
I come home from a long day of work (chatting on AIM) and what do I see? I see some sticky rice that my good ol Grandma made. I believe it's called sticky rice but the Chinese to English translation is oiled rice. There's pork, mushrooms, squid, onions, and of course rice. I'm sure this one isn't good if your counting calories but it sure taste "just like heaven".
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Play on playaaaaaaaaaa
at
11:54 AM
Man A: Yo how do you make your legs look bigger, I have chicken legs.
Man B: Working out chest only doesn't make your legs bigger.
Man A: I don't only work out my chest. I just work on it a little bit harder then most parts.
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: I like cafe sua da.
Man B: Sometimes it could be too much for me, like I get a headache then get light headed. It's kinda like dating a Vietnamese girl.
Man A: Haha sorry to hear that one.
Man B: Vietnamese girls are like Vietnamese food...delicious and cheap but the end results can be very dangerous.
Man B: Working out chest only doesn't make your legs bigger.
Man A: I don't only work out my chest. I just work on it a little bit harder then most parts.
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: I like cafe sua da.
Man B: Sometimes it could be too much for me, like I get a headache then get light headed. It's kinda like dating a Vietnamese girl.
Man A: Haha sorry to hear that one.
Man B: Vietnamese girls are like Vietnamese food...delicious and cheap but the end results can be very dangerous.
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Everybody hurts...
December 4, 2007
at
11:01 PM
________________________________________________________
Man A: She has nice teeth. I would do dirty things to those teeth.
Man B: Sicko.
Man A: Sorry I have a fetish for teeth, give me nice teeth and I'm good for days.
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Random Kyoooooootie Pie of the Day
December 3, 2007
at
9:45 PM
Ashley Judd = so beautifuls
___________________________________________________________
Man A: 95% of the stress in my life is from football.
___________________________________________________________
Man A: Haha I love the Warriors because they can't break my heart. I always expect them to lose, even against Seattle.
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Monday Night Football Picks
at
4:22 PM
New England > Baltimore
Windy = Under
I'd like to see the Pats try to run up the score on Ray Lewis and company.
New England -18
Under 47
Windy = Under
I'd like to see the Pats try to run up the score on Ray Lewis and company.
New England -18
Under 47
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Crown The King
December 2, 2007
at
11:15 PM
Man A: Give me my motherf***ing crown back. The king is back. The world is mine.
___________________________________________________________
Man A: Are you down if we have a cabin for new years?
Man B: Cabin with a bunch of dudes, cool, I'm down
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Sunday Night Football Picks
at
4:42 PM
The Pittsburgh Steelers had great field position the whole game against the Dolphins. They just couldn't convert when they needed to. This week the weather is just as bad but the difference will be that the Steelers will convert their plays. The Bengals defense is nothing special and Willie Parker and crew will show who is clearly the better team.
Steelers -7
Over 40
1st Half Over 20
1st Half Steelers -4
Steelers -7
Over 40
1st Half Over 20
1st Half Steelers -4
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...
December 1, 2007
at
10:51 AM
Random Hobo: Im a playa just like yall. It's all about the p***y tonight. I got you, I got you. I'm like Mike Tyson, n***a I'm back. Aye where you going? Help a playa out.
___________________________________________________________
Man A: I don't even remember putting the sausage in my mouth.
Girl A: That's what she said.
Man A: Oh man, no homo?
___________________________________________________________
Man A: I don't even remember putting the sausage in my mouth.
Girl A: That's what she said.
Man A: Oh man, no homo?
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