STRAIGHT DIRRRTY

Man A: Dude you hella look like Neyo but better looking.
Man B: Um thanks.
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Man A (talking to another guy): I'm not going to lie but your dance right now just made me hella horny, no homo.

DMV Woman (Chicago): Is Christine Win Yin Tam your name?
Christine: Yes
DMV Woman: Are you a citizen?
Christine: Yes
DMV Woman: Was Christine your name when you became a citizen? What does your middle name mean?
Christine: Oh I'm not too sure actually.
DMV Woman: You should find out. It could mean little flower or something. You should ask your mother.
Christine: Yea I should...

OWNAGE
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Straight Dirrrty: why hello there brother
TaliWackerr: your brother status is on hold right now
Straight Dirrrty: wtf
Straight Dirrrty: i guess your life is on hold then
TaliWackerr: f*ck you
Straight Dirrrty: that's cool that you would say that to your older brother
TaliWackerr: like i said your brother status is now on hold
TaliWackerr: you'll get it back
TaliWackerr: in a day
TaliWackerr: maybe a month
TaliWackerr: maybe a year
TaliWackerr: maybe never
Straight Dirrrty: whatever
Straight Dirrrty: im sth
TaliWackerr: about what
Straight Dirrrty: about brotherhood
TaliWackerr: ive decided that i will let you back into my life
TaliWackerr: dont take me for granted anymore
Straight Dirrrty: haha ok

Score some points with this
http://www.bureauofcommunication.com/compose/romanticintent
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Man A: We should just matchup with someone we are equal to.
Man B: Nah man, that never works. We've done it plenty of times.
Man C: Hey _____, you can match up with that dog (points at dog).
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Man A: Man that guy is overrated, he only had sex two times in his life and he thinks he's all cool. OVERRATED!!! OVERRATED!!!

"In a devastated world by men, the only glimpse of hope is the memory of a forgotten past. But be careful not to let your dreams control your mind..."

TURN SPEAKERS UP

Man A: He doesn't have that much pubic hair.
Man B: WTF that's hella gay, how would you know?
Man A: I just know ok
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Man A: Damn I thought your calves were bigger but I guess not.

Happy Birthday Mr. Nghia Nguyen. I hope you get everything you want...Actually what more can you want? You got cool friends and 6-pack abs.
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pwincesdot: i'm expecting my invisible big bouquet of flowers from my invisible boyfriend any minute now
Straight Dirrrty: HAHAHA
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Straight Dirrrty: i just ate now im sleepy = (
da DongSong: come over
da DongSong: and you can nap
Straight Dirrrty: wow that almost sounded homo
da DongSong: and i can sing in your ears
Straight Dirrrty: me telling u im sleepy then u tell me to come over

The government plans to mail out tax rebate checks in May to "stimulate" the economy. For single tax payers we are expected to get $600 dollars. Hmm if they could do that to help the economy, why not do it more? J/K...Oh well, I'm not complaining...stimulate away!
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Man A: are u gonna buy anything for vday especially since u won
Man B: no
Man A: dinner then?
Man B: we decided that there will be no gifts/flowers/lube etc, just dinner

Itbbetter2maro: Happy playas eve playa
Straight Dirrrty: AHHAHAHAH
Straight Dirrrty: is this the REAL playaz holiday?
Itbbetter2maro: Naww its playas eve
Itbbetter2maro: Tomorrows the real deal
Itbbetter2maro: So have ur red envolopes ready
Itbbetter2maro: Cause the playa is coming to collect some money

Note to all, don't touch my carne asada burrito.

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Man A: Oh did you bring chicken tenders?
Girl A: No I got chicken strips.
Man A: Oh....okay
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Man A: Dude you're already buzzed?
Man B: Don't make fun of me or I'll never drink again.

Wow, the Giants actually did it. I thought the Patriots would just walk over the Giants. As a result my wallet is a little lighter..ok ok a lot lighter. It was a great game and the Giants simply played better. Eli Manning played a good game... maybe great but the real deciding factor was the front 7 of the Giants. GIVE THE DEFENSIVE LINEMAN some respect! One of those guys should have got the MVP for the game. Now you get to hear all the bandwagoners tell you they KNEW the GIANTS would win. PUT YOUR MONEY WITH YOUR MOUTH IS. SHOW ME YOUR DAMN WINNING TICKET. Anyway time to "make" some money back on the Pro Bowl eh eh?
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Man A: do u have j holidays new cd
Man B: yeah, you want to borrow it? cause i'm not going to burn another dood an r and b album

There are some interesting prop bets out there for the Super Bowl. We all know about the heads/tails bets or who's going to score first but check out these bets I found:

Who will the MVP of the Game thank first?
Teammates 2/5
God 3/1
Family 5/2
Coach 6/1
Doesn't thank anyone 7/1
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How will the Winning Conference of the Super Bowl impact Wall Street?
AFC Wins/Market Down 1/2
AFC Wins/Market Up 3/2
NFC Wins/Market Down 5/1
NFC WIns/Market UP 6/1
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How Many Times will Joe Buck mention Peyton Manning's name during the Broadcast?
Over 5½
Under 5½