STRAIGHT DIRRRTY

Man A: So should we reserve your seat next to hers?
Girl A: Reserve her face for my fist.
__________________________________________________________
Straight Dirrrty: how was vegas
Useful Widget: we met a powerful dealer
Useful Widget: me and man turned super saiyan
Straight Dirrrty: hahah then?
Useful Widget: but she had power lvl 1000000000000000
Straight Dirrrty: hahaha
Straight Dirrrty: =(
Useful Widget: and she hit us for 500 dollars
Straight Dirrrty: ahah what a dirty whore
Useful Widget: we got away though with our lives
__________________________________________________________
Straight Dirrrty: i think we're gonna play football tomorrow
Straight Dirrrty: did u want to play
Useful Widget: hmmmm yeah
Useful Widget: ill play
Straight Dirrrty: do u have insurance
Straight Dirrrty: damn u one down mother fucker
Straight Dirrrty: haha no questions asked
Useful Widget: i don't need insurance
Useful Widget: people who play against me need insurance
Useful Widget: and i will sell it to them
Straight Dirrrty: HAHAHA good one.

_________________________________________________________________
s0LiGeAr27: man is sleeping on the bed right now
s0LiGeAr27: with covers over his face
s0LiGeAr27: he grabbed my blanket cuz he said mine was warmer
Straight Dirrrty: hahahha
Straight Dirrrty: did he really
s0LiGeAr27: i decided then id rather sleep on the floors with feces and fleas
________________________________________________________
Man A: Man, I'd love to push her off a mountain.

Man A: Who should I try on NYE? I don't wanna be jerkin off when the ball drops like last year.

Man A: N***a are you f*cking crying?
Man B: Nah, I just get like this when I drink.
Man C: Let me buy you Johnson Johnson tear free shampoo so you won't shed any tears.
_________________________________________________________
Man A: The eggs are uneven.
Man B: So is your fade.
Man A: What the hell...

I hope Cutler throws a ball at his helmet less head one day.

If you never tried these (thanks Vickster), you are truly missing out on the good life. Merry Christmas!!!

1st Half Denver at San Diego -6.5
1st Half Over 24
__________________________________________________________
Man A: "He" talks about her mustache in front of anyone, hella sick.
Man B: Well...she shows it off in front of everyone, she hella deserves it.

Everything is coming together for the Washington Redskins. The Vikings are on an impressive run but who have they actually beaten? Washington is a very solid team and will win tonight (sorry Dong).

1st half Washington +3 at Minnesota
Washington +6 at Minnesota

Dallas Cowboys -10.5 at Carolina Panthers
Nevada +3 at New Mexico
Nevada at New Mexico Over 57
________________________________________________________
Man A: Dude the bouncer told me to take off my hoody and pull my pants up.
Man B: Tell that mother f*cker we will fucking buy this entire place and turn it into a f*cking children's playground.

-Overheard at The LOFT
________________________________________________________
Man A: F*cking pathetic, for that I hope you have sex with her and send it to him through a web-cam live...Not any sex, hot jungle sex, the one that hurts people the most =/

Man A: I want to see LONG squirt.
Man B: You know how bad that sounds?
Man A: F*CK!
_________________________________________________________
Girl A: Do you mow it? or let it go wild?
Man A: I like my hair to be the same from head to toe.
Girl A: Lol.
Man A: Short and spikey
_________________________________________________________
Man A: I think if you put me in a room with him for 1 week, I might kill myself. Or kill him, someone is going to die for sure.
_________________________________________________________
Man A: So can I get your number?
Girl A: Um...I forgot my number.
Man B: What the hell, you just gave your number to him (not Man A) HAHAHAHA.

Pittsburgh -8 at St. Louis
Over 43

I spent the earlier years of my life perfecting this stage with donkey kong/bowser. This game is also what started my gambling habit =(
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: Freaking kids spoiled I Am Legend for me so I told them there was no Santa Claus.

How many Nathans do you know?
________________________________________________________
Man A: What are you eating?
Man B: Stuffed mushroom.
Man A: I'll stuff your mushroom.
Man B: Dude, WTF...

Keri Russell (Scoss once described her as the nerdy chick in your high school. And then one day she decided to straighten her hair and realized that she was a kyoooooooootie pie)
__________________________________________________________
Straight Dirrrty: is this whole crew gonna get em (flatheads)?
TaliWackerr: MUHAHAH
TaliWackerr: yeah right
TaliWackerr: come on
TaliWackerr: you got the legit first hand infos
__________________________________________________________
Man A: Sorry to hear, now I know why there are a lot of lesbians.
Girl A: :-) haha
Man A: Was that a smile as in you are one?
Girl A: Hahah no comment
Man A: What the...
__________________________________________________________
Man A: So, maybe when his birthday comes around. Should I be like nah I'll probably not go, I'd rather stay home and j**k off.
__________________________________________________________
Girl A: Remember when I told you about how there are Filipino people that work at Costco. The first time I went and they were giving out samples but would give the other Filipino people bigger portions and talk to them forever.
Man A: HAHAHHAHA
Girl A: It happened again today. I was there and just kinda not paying attention and then I'm like why am I standing here so long! I look and this Costco lady gives the woman she was chatting with the hugest portion of the cake and then STOPS serving to continue chatting.

Dania Ramirez (from Heroes)
___________________________________________________________
b0mbasaur : sth turbo was throwing up
b0mbasaur : and he ate it again
b0mbasaur : hella weird guy
___________________________________________________________
Man Phan: Damn baller...oh wait...nevermind that's me.

Urlacher and crew will not be embarrassed by Adrian Peterson again. In fact, I think Chicago's Adrian Peterson will have a better game. This is going to be a ugly defensive game with hard hits. The Vikings will not be able to pass the ball on the Bears. Orton is not a good QB but he can still manage the game and keep it close. I would not be surprised if the Bears won this game straight up.

Chicago +10.5 at Minnesota
Under 43.5

Man A: I was in embafflement. I f**king know embafflement is not a word, but that sh*t was so crazy that I was in embafflement.
____________________________________________________
Man A: Why you leaving so early? (wakes up wiping his eyes and looking up at another man as he just finished zipping up his pants)

Alicia Keys
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: I'm going to blog you by the way unless you say no.
Girl A: Fine hahahah I like to be blogged lol hella creepy ahahah.
Man A: Hahhaha I wonder if that means something "I like to be blogged". Let me check if blogged is a gross word on Urbandictionary.
Girl A: Sounds pretty ugly.
Man A: "A hot, quick f**k, especially at a club or party" Sorry to hear Hhahaha
Girl A: Really???? Lol
Man A: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=blogged Ahhh I love that place
Girl A: Omg thats awesome hahahaha.
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: Are you ready for the ride of your life?!?!?

Man A: No work today?
Girl A: I finished prob get slammed at 430 or something.
Man A: Damn sorry to hear about slamage.
Girl A: Yeah I don’t like that kind of slammage, dunno where I was going w/ that.
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: Here hold the popcorn.
Man Phan B: No, I don't want to make my khaki's smell.
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: Help me eat some popcorn.
Man Phan B: No, I don't want to gain weight.
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: He's crazy, I'm gonna get my 4 yr. degree very soon, I can't be hanging out w/ him anymore. That's unprofessional.

Man A: Celebrating today?
Man B: No more finals? or what?
Man A: No, celebrating life...my life
__________________________________________________________
Straight Dirrrty: so whose ur +1 guest for potluck
TaliWackerr: that was actually for scott
TaliWackerr: hahah
Straight Dirrrty: AHHAHAA
Straight Dirrrty: sweet
Straight Dirrrty: i took bets on if it was scott or OTHER
Straight Dirrrty: scott = -250 pay back
Straight Dirrrty: other = +150
TaliWackerr: HAHAHHA
TaliWackerr: you know i was gonna just take laverne
TaliWackerr: but she doesnt get off work till 11
TaliWackerr: so its back to scott

Minka Kelly

Girl A: We don't know the recipe so what are we going to make?
Man A: Do you want me to come over? Cause I want to, hehe.
Girl A: No.
Man A: But I know what, we can make in the mean time....love...
Girl A: No.
Man A: Okay, I'm cumming over.

Man A: Is it bad that i'm dreaming about getting med school invitations?
My dream was about me checking my email and seeing it.
Man B: It's a sign of things to come.
Man A: That's what I thought, then I checked my e-mail immediately and I got 3 spam e-mails about penis enlargement.
Man B: HAHA

Man A: You keep making these homo jokes, man one day I might pop out of the closet forreals. And then the jokes on YOU.
___________________________________________________________
Man A: Hella BS, don't you just want to hit it and call it a day.

2007=Superman
2008=Spider-man
This may offend some people (so stop reading if you are easily offended) and I will try to be as vague as possible. I stumbled across the real meaning behind "Supaman that hoe"...It's when you make your own "paste" and stick a bed sheet on her back to make it look like a cape.

Man A: Sorry to hear I can't take random days off to go to Vegas with dudes.
Man B: Sorry to hear, you wanted to go with us dudes, you f***ot. Plus I'm there for my money, I'm goning tell them the king is back give me my motherfucking moneyz.
_____________________________________________________
Man A: I'm at 205 I really wanna go under 200.
Man B: Haha.
Man A: How is my weight struggle funny?

Kate Beckinsale

New Orlean Saints at +3.5 Atlanta Falcons
Over 43
__________________________________________________________
AznRicePicker: okay, gonna hit my punching bag
AznRicePicker: someone has to beat mayweather
__________________________________________________________
Girl A: Do you think a 22 year old would use Batman pillow cases?
Man A: ...I have a spiderman pillow case and I'm 23.
Girl A: I don't know what to say.
__________________________________________________________
Man A: I was like n***a does this look like home shopping network.

TaliWackerr: we should do a t-shirt collabo
Straight Dirrrty: man made?
Straight Dirrrty: me and u
TaliWackerr: chardx x straight dirrrty
Straight Dirrrty: cut out ceviche?
TaliWackerr: nah thats a weak blog
TaliWackerr: i cant have that on my shirt
____________________________________________________________
Man A: If I was a girl, I would totally date you.
Man B: How can you not? Look at this.
____________________________________________________________
Man A: Why you jockin?
Man B: I'm just trying to look at your denim.

We all know Floyd Mayweather has the superior speed and talent in this fight but does he have the heart? Every fighter that Mayweather has faced tried to pressure him but eventually gave up or just got tired. Oscar and Judah both had success the first 6 rounds against Mayweather but eventually just tired. Out of all Mayweather's opponents, Hatton is most similiar to Jose Luis Castillo. Castillo nearly defeated Mayweather by being aggressive. Many ringside writers gave the bout to Castillo but Mayweather had escaped with the W that night. If Hatton can fight for 3 minutes of every round, I think the fight will come down to the 12th round. Hatton will definitely get tagged but I think he will throw so many punches that he will win a lot of the close rounds. Hatton is not slow like Baldomir and he is probably even faster than Castillo. Hatton will punch at all angles and will put the pressure on Floyd. Hatton has an underrated defense and footwork. I'm not sure if the HBO 24/7 series has influenced me but I'm going to have to say that Hatton gives Mayweather his first loss. I expect to see a rematch between these two.
Hatton by Decision
_____________________________________________________________
Bernard Hopkins: Will you take the fight?
Joe Calzaghe: Will YOU take the fight?
BH: I already said I'll take the fight.
JC: OK then, let's fight. When you want to do it?
BH: I'm gonna mess up your face.
JC: Nobody's messed up my face. Look at my face. Twenty-five years of fighting and not a mark.
BH: That's because you're fighting in Europe. You're not fighting a legend.
JC: I am a legend.
BH: In Europe.
JC: There's no way you can beat me.
BH: I will never let a white person beat me.
JC: If you fight me, you'll lose.
BH: I will never lose to a white person.
JC: I can't wait man, I can't wait to kick your ass.

Man A: Did you know Barry Bonds might go to the Oakland A's?
Girl A: Wait, didn't he get ignited?
Man A: Ignited? Don't you mean indicted.

Petra Nemcova = My number one of all kyoooooooooootie pies

That's how to tip.
________________________________________________________
Man A: Should take like 2 minutes, just gotta screw off the cover or pop it off and insert new ones.
Man B: Okay thanks Mr. 2 minutes, since it's your expertise.
Man A: Wtf!
Man B: 2 minutes for ramming I mean.
________________________________________________________
Man A: All this makes me feel like not wanting to do anything with the boys anymore. gay huh?
Man B: Um that sounds kind of homo.

I come home from a long day of work (chatting on AIM) and what do I see? I see some sticky rice that my good ol Grandma made. I believe it's called sticky rice but the Chinese to English translation is oiled rice. There's pork, mushrooms, squid, onions, and of course rice. I'm sure this one isn't good if your counting calories but it sure taste "just like heaven".

Man A: Yo how do you make your legs look bigger, I have chicken legs.
Man B: Working out chest only doesn't make your legs bigger.
Man A: I don't only work out my chest. I just work on it a little bit harder then most parts.
_____________________________________________________________
Man A: I like cafe sua da.
Man B: Sometimes it could be too much for me, like I get a headache then get light headed. It's kinda like dating a Vietnamese girl.
Man A: Haha sorry to hear that one.
Man B: Vietnamese girls are like Vietnamese food...delicious and cheap but the end results can be very dangerous.

________________________________________________________
Man A: She has nice teeth. I would do dirty things to those teeth.
Man B: Sicko.
Man A: Sorry I have a fetish for teeth, give me nice teeth and I'm good for days.

Ashley Judd = so beautifuls
___________________________________________________________
Man A: 95% of the stress in my life is from football.
___________________________________________________________
Man A: Haha I love the Warriors because they can't break my heart. I always expect them to lose, even against Seattle.

New England > Baltimore
Windy = Under
I'd like to see the Pats try to run up the score on Ray Lewis and company.
New England -18
Under 47

Man A: Give me my motherf***ing crown back. The king is back. The world is mine.
___________________________________________________________
Man A: Are you down if we have a cabin for new years?
Man B: Cabin with a bunch of dudes, cool, I'm down

The Pittsburgh Steelers had great field position the whole game against the Dolphins. They just couldn't convert when they needed to. This week the weather is just as bad but the difference will be that the Steelers will convert their plays. The Bengals defense is nothing special and Willie Parker and crew will show who is clearly the better team.

Steelers -7
Over 40
1st Half Over 20
1st Half Steelers -4

Random Hobo: Im a playa just like yall. It's all about the p***y tonight. I got you, I got you. I'm like Mike Tyson, n***a I'm back. Aye where you going? Help a playa out.
___________________________________________________________
Man A: I don't even remember putting the sausage in my mouth.
Girl A: That's what she said.
Man A: Oh man, no homo?

Ceviche De Camaron

Caldo De Mariscos aka Taste Of The Good Life (It really means that in Spanish)
___________________________________________________________
I decided to give El Buen Gusto a second try because I was told that they are actually known for their seafood. My favorite dish on the menu was the Caldo De Mariscos. It's a soup with oysters, squid, mussels, scallops, crab, clam, and shrimp. It comes with tortilla's on the side and you have to put onions and lime for maximum enjoyment. If you are a seafood fan, you have to give it a shot. I must say I truly had a taste of the good life and you should too =)


Taste 4.5/5
Price 4/5
Location 4/5
Service 5/5

"I think the hardest thing for a black man to do in this society, one of them, is to think when he's mad."

-Allen Iverson


Wow that was pretty dirty.

Milwaukee at New York +2
Boston at Miami +3
Indiana at Seattle +1.5
Orlando at Phoenix -5.5
Fresno State at New Mexico State Under 64.5

Good Luck


Update Late Add
New Mexico State +13.5

I heard there's a competition with whoever has the sickest bike on the block. KAWS = WEAK + beasty (yeah I'm starting a blog war). This bicycle right here is what they call D Supreme Back.

Vanessa Hudgens of High School Musical...I'm sure this one will cause a lot of people to say/think you pervert but WHATEVER. The girl is a kyooootie and has mad "steez". The picture scandal was a blow to her image but we can all forgive and forget.

There is free money out there, just got to find it =/

Green Bay at Dallas -7
Rutgers at Louisville -2.5
Denver at Lakers -5

I tried a little burrito shack called Mariscos La Costa (on Monterey) for lunch today. I believe they are more known for their seafood but I decided to get the carne asada burrito a shot (since I didn't want to drive to La Vic's every time I got a burrito craving at work). The burritos were not pricey (less than 6 bucks for burrito and Horchata) at all and I didn't have to wait too long. The burrito tasted pretty good but it wasn't packed too tight like the way I like it. There was a lot of meat in there but seemed to have too much sour cream. La Vic's is still light years ahead of this place but its still pretty good and close to my work. The moment I finished my burrito I had a crazy stomachache. It burned a hole in my ass for three separate occasions today. I'm trying to figure out if it was the hot sauce or the actual burrito. Not sure if I'm ready to try the burrito again to figure out what gave me a stomachache. As of now, I will label their burrito as IS (insta-shit = instant + shit) since it made me rush him. By the way, I'll have a camera shortly so I'll get to take REAL pictures of all the burritos that I eat. That is all.

Taste 3/5
Price 5/5
Location 2/5 (bad neighborhood)
Service 5/5

Frank: Is that why your playing tennis to lose ur belly? haha
Man Phan: Nah bitch, I'm playing tennis because my belly sticks out now.

Song Hye-Kyo
________________________________________________________
Man A: He is one of those guys that are always hard.
Man B: Wow, that was really homo.

Sean Taylor
April 1, 1983 - November 27, 2007

I stumbled upon Marshawn Lynch's blog and was shocked at what I saw. I guess I got to respect the guy for his realness hahah. Here is an excerpt from his first post...

"whats good yardbarkers what it do its ya local neighborhood running back outta OAKLAND....in buffalo playin for da bills...if u looked at da headline reading DAMN its cause ive been out 4 da past two weeks and its been hurting me not to b out der wit ma teammates even if we losing....i just cant wait til i can get back out der wit ma bra bras (teammates).....but dis just ma lil intro until i can get back to yall wit a lil mo....stay solid til next time"

Man A: Foo, my friend is going to get me in a Pharrell video.
Man B: Play on playaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Kyoooooooooooooooootie Pie + graduated from Harvard = Rashida Jones

Man A: I'm like semi delirious right now, all I can think about is pastrami tacos and London broil steaks.

_________________________________________________________________________

Man A: You know what's crazy, how one holding penalty can change a punt return.
Man B: A holding penalty can also change a friendship.

Man A: Aye you with the hat, shut the fuck up. Aye you in the corner, shut the fuck up. Aye you laughing ass n***a, shut the fuck up.
Man B: You don't know me. You shut the fuck up.
Man A: Sorry.

This is what I eat for Thanksgiving. When people ask me what do I eat for Thanksgiving, I usually say a pot full of stuff aka hot pot.

Dwight Schrute: Ever since Michael dumped Jan for Carol, Jan's been bitching out on him. Reject a woman and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.

______________________________________________________________________________________

Jan: How would a movie increase productivity, Michael? How on earth would it do that?

Michael Scott: People work faster after.

Jan: Magically.

Michael Scott: No. They have to, to make up for the time they lost watching the movie.

It's been a slow couple of days..so I present you this.

"Straight Cash Homie"

Add to My Profile | More Videos

He IS straight CASH

My friend found her manager's new year resolution list from 1999 (when he was 21) and I thought it was pretty funny.

Santonio's my boy



I don't even know what to say about this one.

"You should totally go for it and snag onto him and never let go"



Hey we've all been guilty of wearing over-sized shirts to hide the gut. Big Black tees at the beach are NOT in.

If you guys see him today wish him a Happy B-Day, you probably won't get to speak to him after his Judgement Day.

Here's a mix of Angela and Dwight's (The Office) awkward moments

The Warriors end their losing streak tonight! Three reasons why I still believe in the Warriors...

In my prime, I use to be able to eat ten strips and still not be full. That is all.

It would be awesome to have a boss like him, don't you think?

When will the Dolphins get their first win of the season = (

Man A: I hope you lose, so I can be 1 and you can be 2. Oh and that's the ranking of the men in her life.

-AIM

Girl A: I feel like he broke my heart and rubbed salt all over it and pounded it with a meat cleaver

-AIM

Man A: I'm worried that the iphone will freeze, he said he got his and it just kept freezing.
Man B: That's because he got the g-phone the one that's compatible with his sexuality.

Man A: Sorry to hear you don't answer
Man B: Fool, I'm busy
Man A: wutever cant spend 5 seconds to im
Man B: You f**
Man A: WTF that hurts, sorry to hear me trying to be your friend isn't good enough
Man B: Can I donkey punch you
Man A: If thats what it takes for me to be your friend
Man B: hahaha....

Man: I'm f***ing hungry dude for some chow fun or something
like some fresh p***y

Drunk Girl: OMG, seriously the room is spinning but I'm not. What the hell!??!??! I want to text him, "Hey bitch you broke my heart mend it back together". But I won't. HAHA

Girl: I play with Anthony. I like his ball.
Man: Pervert...
Girl: Even though it's so hard to grip...OMG
Man: Even more perverted...

Girl: What? Don't be judging me! Staring at me while I grab the onion ring.
Man: I'm not. Um don't get the wrong idea. Its cause I wanted to eat it myself...

Man A: Now come out and pay your pimp his money!
Man B: What the...

Man A: There you go! There you go! Go hard.
Man B: I feel it! I feel it!
Man A: You homo...

-Jacklin 24 Hour Fitness

Man A: And if he cries on ur shoes, what are you going to do?
Man B: I'll kick him in face because I'm wearing suede. Water and suede dont mix especially with dog tears.

Man A: Why don't you finish your drink?
Man B: Where the fuck is your drink?
Man A: I can't drink when there's no music.
Man B: OK...Um chi um chi um chi (rave music b-box)

-Ribisi Poker Night

Man A: Am I doing this right?
Man B: Oh there it is! There it is! There it is!
Man A: Dude you know how gay that sounds...

-Jacklin 24 Hour Fitness

Man A: For the love of god (looking up to the sky)..all I want is a burrito in my face. For 8 hours a day the past 30 days all I can think about is burritos. Is that too much to ask for"

-Downtown Parking lot

-Overheard by Dong/Bom

Party Girl: Hey, I had so much fun last night. We should make it an annual thing, like every week or something

-Overheard by Dong

Man A: Man if he says shit again I'll fucking box him.
Man B: You'll really fight him?
Man A: No...I'm just talking.

Little Hyphy Boy: Come see me in the streets n***a. (while barking)

-Cataldi Park

Overheard by the Football Crew